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cpostropheLightning flashed in the background as we sipped from cups of warm translucent sake, mulling over lives, directions, ambitions and dreams and he said to me, "I've always envied the people who knew what they wanted to do with their lives. It must be nice to have a sense of destiny."
and I replied, "do you think they know? I mean really know? That they don't look back on their past and think of the what-ifs? Perhaps there's value in taking a break and exploring your options."
"Yes, but what if you take too long? What if you find yourself at the age of forty, living almost half of your expected lifespan while waiting for that revelation to come? How do you decide which option is best?"
"Faith, perhaps. Something just feels right, and works well for you. How do you make any longterm decision? You shouldn't just bungle through it, only looking at the road that's a few steps in front of you. You might wind up getting lost."
"But won't you still doubt? What if you're just being a fool? Is there room for both faith and fear? "
I took another sip and watched the rain and thought out loud. "Why not? Evaluate any decision you may make ... anything you might invest your time or your heart into and you should always recognize the potential for failure, for realizing that you might engage in something that will lead to unhappiness or emptiness."
"Faith," I continued, "is what causes you to proceed regardless. Believing in yourself and your capabilities and that this will see you to success. Believing in some higher force -- whatever that may be -- might compel you to go on because you will be ultimately rewarded for your action. Perhaps if we wanted to segment it out, we could say that when faced with a risky investment, faith tells you to go on despite the odds because success is guaranteed by something ineffable. Desire tells you to go on even if failure is a possibility. And foolishness makes you miscalculate the odds and underestimate the potential for losing."
"So how do you avoid being foolish?"
"Being honest and true to yourself. Restraining desire's urge to make the situation more attractive than it is, and recognizing when faith might be misplaced."
"And what if we go back to our forty-year old hypothetical, who is so riddled with doubt that he makes no decision because he doesn't believe in himself?"
"That's another form of dishonesty, isn't it? Not realizing one's capabilities and one's sense of happiness? You fear recognizing yourself because it makes your vulnerabilities more distinct. Gain that sense of self-knowledge, and it will reduce your doubt."
"And, how do you gain that?"
"If I knew, I'd tell you."
and I replied, "do you think they know? I mean really know? That they don't look back on their past and think of the what-ifs? Perhaps there's value in taking a break and exploring your options."
"Yes, but what if you take too long? What if you find yourself at the age of forty, living almost half of your expected lifespan while waiting for that revelation to come? How do you decide which option is best?"
"Faith, perhaps. Something just feels right, and works well for you. How do you make any longterm decision? You shouldn't just bungle through it, only looking at the road that's a few steps in front of you. You might wind up getting lost."
"But won't you still doubt? What if you're just being a fool? Is there room for both faith and fear? "
I took another sip and watched the rain and thought out loud. "Why not? Evaluate any decision you may make ... anything you might invest your time or your heart into and you should always recognize the potential for failure, for realizing that you might engage in something that will lead to unhappiness or emptiness."
"Faith," I continued, "is what causes you to proceed regardless. Believing in yourself and your capabilities and that this will see you to success. Believing in some higher force -- whatever that may be -- might compel you to go on because you will be ultimately rewarded for your action. Perhaps if we wanted to segment it out, we could say that when faced with a risky investment, faith tells you to go on despite the odds because success is guaranteed by something ineffable. Desire tells you to go on even if failure is a possibility. And foolishness makes you miscalculate the odds and underestimate the potential for losing."
"So how do you avoid being foolish?"
"Being honest and true to yourself. Restraining desire's urge to make the situation more attractive than it is, and recognizing when faith might be misplaced."
"And what if we go back to our forty-year old hypothetical, who is so riddled with doubt that he makes no decision because he doesn't believe in himself?"
"That's another form of dishonesty, isn't it? Not realizing one's capabilities and one's sense of happiness? You fear recognizing yourself because it makes your vulnerabilities more distinct. Gain that sense of self-knowledge, and it will reduce your doubt."
"And, how do you gain that?"
"If I knew, I'd tell you."
